Spouses Just Don’t Understand
I am currently reading How Not to Write a Novel, a great little book by Howard Mittlemark and Sandra Newman. The book is full of humor for someone who loves words. I have laughed out loud several times in the course of my reading, and it happened again today.
So, Hubby leans over and asks what’s so funny. I explained to him by reading the following excerpt:
Using a word almost correctly, or using a word almost exactly like the right word, amounts to almost speaking English. You may think that the occasional slip-up wouldn’t matter; but the language you choose is the clothing in which your novel is draped, and saying “incredulous” when you mean “incredible” is the prose equivalent of walking into a meeting wearing your underwear on the ouside.
We have no way of knowing what words you are going to misuse, so we cannot offer you a list. What we can offer, though, is a test that you yourself can apply to any word, whenever you are in doubt.
A Test: Do I Know This Word?
Ask yourself: “Do I know this word?”
If the answer is no, then you do not know it.
At this stage, I’m laughing out loud, which prompts hubby to turn around. I point to the test, still chortling.
He didn’t get it. I thought about explaining it, but didn’t try. In fact, I’m not sure anyone but another writer would get it. I still think it’s funny.
I did have one little quibble with the authors. “We have no way of knowing what words you are going to misuse…” Shouldn’t that be “We have no way of knowing which words you are going to misuse…?” I ask only because “what” creeps into my writing with alarming regularity. I don’t know if it is an example of evolutionary language or the fact that I’m getting old. What do you think?
My husband is an accountant. I’m a writer. I fall asleep when he starts drawing econimic graphs. He falls asleep when I start debating whether to start the sentence with a participle.
Oh, my. Sounds like hubby when I try to talk about writing. Yesterday he saw me working on a different novel and got upset. “Finish the first one first,” he said. I had to explain the concept of letting a draft “rest” before re-reading it. He still thinks all writers are certifiable, lol.
LOL, I thought it was funny, too. Don’t worry, I often laugh about stuff I find hilarious, only to get that “she’s off her rocker” look. I don’t even try to explain it anymore. I ju:)st tell him, “There’s no engine involved, you wouldn’t get it.”
My usual responses to Hubby:
“It’s writing, honey, you wouldn’t understand”
Or
“Let me ’splain it to you in computer terms…” (not).
Or
“How can you not get this? This is funny stuff!”
And his responses to me:
“Who are you and where is my wife…oh wait, I forgot you were writing today.”
and
“What exactly are you smoking?”
“Um, sure. Do you have a fever? Feeling all right?”
ROFL!
BJ: “What do you think?” Don’t you mean, “Which do you think?” I’m just sayin.
BTW, I answered your questions on the other blog.
Heh its the other way around with Jason and I… I’m the *ummm* less gifted one when it comes to the english language.
Great answers over there, Sal.
Brandy, hon, you have many wonderful gifts of your own.
Yeah she does have some wonderful gifts, though to speak of the specifics to the public would embarrass her.
Play nice, O Husband to Brandy. :p She has other gifts, too! Still, I’m glad you think your wife is hot.
Jason you already made me blush:P It’s true I’m smart in many ways, just english was always my most difficult subject. I can read just fine and I love it but sentence structure? HAhah I’ll leave that to others:) Which is why I’m sooooo proud of my mom in law taking advantage of the gift(s) that she has, and doing such a wonderful job!