Gestating Words
I’ve never thought to deny the peculiarities of the writing process…well, my writing process…though I’ve done plenty of questioning. I know it goes in cycles, and that they follow a rhythm that is predictable for a while, then goes all kattywumpus before evening out again. One thing I have noticed about the kattywumpus times…it feels like pregnancy.
Fallow times happen, and they are good for us as writers. They give us a chance to refill ourselves with words, sights, scents, and the input of the other senses. They give us a chance to assess where we are, to edit, and to enjoy the works of our writerly friends. It’s a chance to breathe, get my head out of the notebooks, and take in the world around me with fresh eyes.
Perhaps halfway through the dormancy, I’ll become aware of the slight pressure and movement…like butterfly wings. It comes and goes, but over time, it builds. It reminds me of the quote by Virginia Woolf:
As for my next book, I am going to hold myself from writing it till I have it impending in me: grown heavy in my mind like a ripe pear; pendant, gravid, asking to be cut or it will fall.
Gravid, full…ready. I wait for it. I can do nothing else. As I waited for each of my children to reach term and come into this world, I wait, growing ponderous with the weight of words. I used to be frightened by this time. Now, I look around me, breathe in the sights and sounds, fill myself up on the writings of others, and wait.
I am never sure which direction the waiting will take me. I’m working on the plot of a new novel, working to edit previous projects, working to write articles about writing, but in the back of my mind, and somewhere behind my heart, I feel some part of me filling up with pregnant expectation.
Just as thunderheads can sometimes build up into unbearable tension and then peter out before fading into blue sky, these gravid weeks can do the same. I don’t always come out of them with feverish scribbling and clacking keyboard. But often, the pains of labor arrive and I find myself rushing to get down all that has built up in me. You’d think it would always be a single work, but sometimes it is several shorter pieces, interwoven in ways that are not immediately clear. Often there is a theme that runs loosely through them.
I’m a writer, therefore I write anyway, and enjoy writing always. There’s just something so expectant about letting the words build, reach a ripeness or state of readiness, as I catch fleeting glimpses into the paths they might take when finally birthed.
I’ve come to enjoy this time. To continue the metaphor, I’ve come to enjoy the stretching and the growing of the words, concepts, and images within me, and look forward to their revelation with uncharacteristic patience. I read with a voracious appetite, drown myself in music, expose myself to art in all its many forms, and wait with quiet anticipation.
Thi spost is beautiful and so full of truth. I believe even in the moments when we aren’t writing, we are storing up words and emotions and ideas for the future. You’ll know when it is time to put it to paper:)
Beautifully written BJ. Phenomenally true in my own experience. There is an invisible thread that connects us writers. We may write or not write alone, yet we are never alone.
I know those fallow times well. I find myself there often and when I do, initially I feel guilty but before long, like you, I recognize the chance those fallow times offer me:
A chance to avert my eyes from the accustomed rhythm of my writing process to bask in the experiences, advice and inspiration found in the writings and lives of other writers.
A chance to replenish my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional well so that I can return ready, willing and able to dive right back in and continue my journey with joy, with passion and with renewed focus.
What a very thougtful and inspiring post! Kudos and thanks for visiting my blog. I love that Woolf quote. Words to write by.
@Terri I so agree!
@Cheryl The guilt still creeps in sometimes.
But the renewal is worth it, as is the renewed focus.
@Luci You are most welcome. I love that quote also.