It Was a Good “No”
Last week the leader of our local writing group passed the baton to the assistant leader. It was well done and he assured us he would still be attending the meetings. Of course, the subject of a replacement assistant came up.
It was on the tip of my tongue. It showed in my face and body language. “I can,” was welling up in my throat before a door shut inside me. It would have been affirming and I would have been good at it. It’s a nice opportunity to help fellow writers and guide the future of the group.
Why did I sit back and remain silent?
I didn’t understand my response at the time, though “I don’t have time” flickered through my mind. Later, after considering my schedule, I realized that “I don’t have time” WAS the reason, and it is a legitimate one.
There is never enough time in my life to write…even to prewrite my writing projects. I work long hours as it is and cope with constant interruptions. Once, I would have jumped at the chance to participate and even take a leadership role because that is my nature and I’m usually good at it.
These days I have a bigger priority…”butt in chair” time with words. I need every spare moment of my life to keep up with the blogs, do research, and write.
Of course, I felt bad. I don’t think I have often failed to volunteer for such interesting things. Still, I’ve come to see the decision to keep silent as the right and proper one for me. I have become a writer first and guarding the precious minutes I have to write has finally overcome my need to belong.
Every writer gives up something of writing in order to have a life and gives up something of life in order to write. Writers with small children obviously have them as a priority. Careers, relationships, and family are important. I’m in a unique position now in that we have no family here and the children are grown. I gave up TV. I gave up control of the household. I gave up social events for the most part. Life changes, and this too shall pass. If I don’t take advantage of this time, how will I feel when it is gone?
I’ll be there for the new leader and will help as I can. In the meantime I’m feeling just a wee bit grown up, and that just feels weird, ya know?
Grown up? How would that feel? I’m glad you made the right decision. There is a season and a time for everything, you’re right. I’ve recently no to some opportunities. They were also good no’s. Not sure if I feel grown up yet, though.
there are things we have to relinquish, but also getting to know our limits is part of it, an intangible bit that sometimes is the hardest.
plus, you never know what the future holds…
Good for you for thinking of your self and “time” allotments. Better to do 2 or 3 things well than a dozen half a _ _.
Love you
I applaud you BJ for listening to your heart and honoring your passion to write by giving it the time it needs and deserves.
Write on.
Well done! It can be so hard to say no to these things (goodness knows I have trouble with that myself…) but the writing is most important and has to come before the other writing stuff I think.
Maybe not so much “growing up” as “changing focus”. Obviously writing is more important to you know, subconsciously as well as consciously.
Know/-k/now
The grown up feeling has passed, lol, but I know I made the right decision for me. I was even nicely rewarded by the Muse with a new short story.