5 Great Ways to Procrastinate While Writing
Okay, maybe I procrastinate more while editing, but the application is the same. Here are five great ways to kill/waste/use up time until you have no more time to write/edit/proof.
1. Watch TV and movies. For maximum procrastination, watch great movies with plots that require concentration. For a steady diet of wasting time, catalog your videos and DVDs, watching each one to be sure it is in the right case and has the right title, director, and list of cast members. Yes, the catalog has to be complete. Use a spreadsheet.
Should you discover Netflix online or sites such as Fox.com, you can add entire seasons of your favorite and not-so-favorite television episodes to your viewing list. This is an incredible time waster. For example, if you are a Law & Order SVU fan, you can watch ten seasons’ worth. At an average of 22 episodes per season and 42 minutes per episode, you can waste 154 hours, or 6.5 days. This method is thoroughly tested and proven just recently. In addition to old seasons, you can watch shows the day after they appear on network television. Keep up with all your favorites: House, The Simpsons, Lie to Me, Fringe, Dollhouse, Bones, and many more.
2. Clean your dwelling. We aren’t talking about a few swipes with the duster and vacuum here. Oh no, this is the kind of cleaning you do when on a three day caffeine binge. Empty out those cupboards, scrub everything down (including the contents) and organize them while putting them back. Next, clean all flooring surfaces. By hand. On your knees. You get extra credit for using a toothbrush on tile grout. Steam clean your drapes and upholstery. Wipe down your walls, all ceiling fans and fixtures, and appliances. Wipe down each figurine and knick knack with a finger cot.
Depending on your square footage, this can successfully use up several weeks of writing time. Since you are a writer, we know you have books. Don’t forget to take each one off the shelf, wipe it down, and then spend two days grouping them all in the manner most pleasing…color, author, title, we’ll leave that up to you. Don’t worry if you don’t like the first grouping. You can spend another two days on a do over. You have our permission.
3. Tackle the “honey do” list. Ask for more. If your honey doesn’t provide additional items for your list, feel free to slow your speed on each project, or even repeat them. It won’t hurt the gate to have a few extra nails, right? You can change the oil in your car every 100 miles. Sure you can.
When you’ve done everything you can think of and you’ve exasperated your honey to the point of silence, spend hours planning elaborate romantic dinners/evenings/outings until your honey is sweet again. You get bonus points for surprising her/him.
4. Tackle your To Be Read list with alacrity. Read everything on your list. Then read everything on your friend’s list, your brother’s, your second cousin’s twice removed. Look up reading lists on line and read those also. When you are done, take a few days to integrate all your new books into your bookshelves. Then take the next few days to regroup them.
5. Sleep. Take naps. Sleep in on the weekends. Go to bed early on the weekdays. Beg off social commitments and curl up under the blankets. Move to the couch when your alarm goes off and hit snooze at least half a dozen times. When you are feeling particularly alert, take a warm bath and drink some warm milk. Tell everyone you are doing dream research and you have to be asleep to dream. Don’t skip the after dinner nap. That’s another hour each day.
Remember, these methods are proven to work and have all been extensively tested within the last two months.
If you are still in need of additional procrastination methods, feel free to email any author or serious writer. We are certain they will be happy to share their own techniques.
I find this list hilarious! After all, I have been putting quite a bit of this to use lately.
I didn’t do NaNo due to just not having the gumption to get up there and do it.
But this? This, I can do. Hmm…maybe I do need another nap today.